to Owen

to my buddy Owen...

i'm so sorry we had to say goodbye to you today.  i hope you will forgive us for the terrible thing we have done.

you didn't deserve what happened to you.  it wasn't your fault.  you're previous family must have done something to hurt you.  it was their fault and not yours.

i don't know why you snapped at us.  someone taught you that so i know you didn't mean it.  i'm sorry that had to happen.  i'm sorry for upsetting you.

we didn't want to have you "put down."  but we had no choice...

the hard part is that i am not God.  it's not really my choice.  and i will never forget that.

we will never forget you buddy.  you were only with us for three weeks but we were your family.

you were such a good boy.  you fit in with us right away.

you liked to play with your sisters.  you liked to cuddle with me or under the blankets.  you loved to go for walks.  you loved car rides.  you ruined any toy you could get your mouth on.  you liked to chase Lily.

there were some weird things you did too.  you growled when we picked you up.  you chased the reflection off of your collar.  all.  day.  long.  you ate garbage and toys.  you got upset easily...

but i was your momma and you knew it from the start.  you liked me more than anyone and i love you for loving me.  that's why i know you didn't mean what you did to me.

i tried to make your last day as great as i could.  i tried to give you as much love and treats as i could. we took you on a walk.  we pet you until the end.

i know you trusted us and i'm sorry we broke that.  i will never forget the way that you came over to me today and gave me a kiss on the cheek, like you were asking me to forgive you.  i do buddy, i really do.

i know how scared you were.  i was scared too.  i will never forget you looking at me until the end.  i wish i could have saved you.  i will wish it everyday for the rest of my life.

i will never forgive myself for what happened to you today, but i hope you can forgive me.  i'm so sorry buddy.  i'm sorry i couldn't have given you a better life from the start.  i love you and will miss you.  i hope you can be at peace now.